Federal Involvement
by Fayre Aiden
Summary: Sara is sick of Grissom's games, and the hole she leaves behind will bring the rest of the team through hell and back. GSR. set after 514: Unbearable FINISHED FIC!
1. Her Letter

CSI: Federal Involvement

Disclaimer: If Iowned CSI or anything associated with it other than the DVDs, I wouldn't be compelled to write this, now would I?

Summary: G/S Sara finally gets fed up with Grissom's games, and the whole she leaves behind will bring the rest of the team through hell and back. -set after eppy 514: Unbearable-

----- ----- -----

'No way!' Nic squealed.  
'Yes'  
'I don't believe it... Sofia'  
'Yeah, man. This morning after shift. Heard it when I passed by his office on my way out,' Warrick afirmed.  
Catherine snickered. 'No woman should be subjected to that office'  
'Man,' Nick sighed. 'Sara's gonna be pissed.'  
----- ----- -----

The conversation still rang in Sara's ears. They'd had no idea that she'd overheard the conversation and she intended to keep it that way, but it made her wonder: was she always the last one to know everything?

Sitting on the couch in her apartment living room, she took another sip from her long-necked bottle and pondered the situation. So much had happened in her now 5 years in Vegas, from the flirting to Hank to Teri Miller to her DUI, and their most recent encounter, the reliving of her childhood nightmare. Rumors had flown through the lab whispering news of Warrick's gambling, Catherine's father, and Nick's stalker. Sara had chosen to disregard those concerning Grissom's indiscretion with Lady Heather, hoping to God that they were false, but now with the rumors flying again, she didn't know what to believe.

'It's probably nothing,' she chided herself. 'Warrick probably just heard wrong. Besides, he wouldn't go out with me. Why would he go out with that scum-sucking ho-bag?'

'But then again,' whispered a voice in the back of her mind, 'she didn't ask him. He asked her, and that puts a whole new spin on things, doesn't it?'

Sara mentally shook herself for giving into the temptation of believing the gossip. Afer all, they'd been wrong before, right?

----- ----- -----

Grissom sat in his office looking over what had now become known as "the Bentley bust." The red fibers from the trunk, the plant pods from the tree, and the rest of the evidence had all ben sent to the vault and the date for the preliminary hearing had been set. The DA was pleased with the team's hard work, and so was Grissom. He was proud of them. Despite the chaos that had followed the staff changes, they'd handled their cases with ease and professionalism, helping to make as smooth a transition as possible. Even Sara was doing better since her return from suspension.

Sara. With the thought of her name, Grissom's mind raced back to the night at her apartment. Pictures of her curled up in her chair and sobbing as she relived thepast that haunted her rushed to the forefront of his memory. He couldn't get her out of his head.. The thought of her being abused and violated haunted his dreams, but even more so did the daunting question: Why hadn't he noticed it before?

Of course there had been signs. He hadn't wanted to accept them, knowing what that would mean. He hadn't wanted to believe them, but they were there. The time he had to restrain her from physically assaulting the abusive husband of a victim; the night she'd cried in his office, grieving for the young rape victim who would remain in a vegetative state for the rest of her life; the home invasion case that had turned into a gang rape, and later, a murder because the girl was too afraid to identify her attacker; and finally, the straw that broke the camal's back, the mail order brides used, in Sara's words as "punching bags" for their dominating American husbands. At first, Grissom had read the signs wrong, thinking that she was on the brink of burnout, but after the incident with Catherine and Ecklie, he knew there was something deeper, and it troubled him.

The picture of a broken-spirited Sara once again occupied his thoughts. 'How had it come to this?' he wondered. Se had come to Vegas full of life, and now it seemed to have all but gone, leaving her a shell of who she was. A heaviness set on his heart wen he realized how much he missed her, and right then and there, he made a silent vow to end the hurt and bring back the Sara he had fallen in love with all those years ago.Sara walked into the lab with a smile that hse hoped looked more confident than she felt. She wanted to believe that nothing had changed since her episode with Catherine, but the growing intensity in the atmosphere as she felt several sets of eyes upon her told her that everything was different. Walking onward, she made her way toward the locker room.

----- ----- -----

Sara walked into the lab with a smile tha she hoped looked more confident than she felt. She wanted to believe that nothing had changed since her episode with Catherine, but the rowing intensity inthe atmosphere as she felt several sets of eyes upon her told her that everything was different. Walking onward, she made her way to the locker room.

She was stopped, however, by the voices coming from the nearby DNA lab. If she had heard correctly... no, she couldn't have. She thought she had just heard Greg ask Sofia how her date with Grissom had gone. Trying not to make it completly obvious that she was eavesdropping, Sara strained to hear the conversation through the glass wall.

"Oh, come on!" Greg was saying. "At least tell us where you went!"

"Alright, alright... He took me to his townhouse, and-"

"Wait a minute," Mia interrupted. "He took you to his house and cooked for you!"

"Yeah. This great veggie pasta dish. It turned out excellent."

"And the rest of the night?" Greg probed.

"The rest of the night is none of your business! We just-"

Sara couldn't stand it anymore. Spinning on her heel, she headed back to the locker room, keeping her head down so no one would see the tears trailing a path down her face. Grabbing her things, she got in her car and left the lab, a place that had once offered hope and shelter, but no longer held any joy for her apart from the people that she loved.

Once she hit the highway. she pulled out her cell phone and a business card, dialing the long distance number on the bottom. After three rings, someone finally picked up.

"Yes," Sara answered. "Rick Culpepper, please."

----- ----- -----

The next night, Grissom walked into the break room for assignments and immediately sensed something wrong, though he couldn't quite put his finger on it. His concern was echoed a moment later when Greg asked,

"Where's Sara?"

"Yes, where is she? We were supposed to be finishing a B & E." Sofia crossed the room, coffee in hand. Setting one cup in frint of Grissom, she took a seat beside him.

"The final paperwork for that case was left on my desk, so it's been taken care of," Grisom told her. "And as for Sara's absense, it's her day off. Maybe she decided to take one for a change." Hoping that his response was convincing enough, he continued with assignments. "Things are light tonight. You two are looking into a419 in Henderson. Teenage party gone wild with suspected drugs and alcohol use. Brass is covering asic crowd control, but be sure to get pictures of everyone at the scene."

He watched as the two made to leave, and after a moment he looked down at his hands, feeling Sara's absense stronger than ever. But even through the emptiness, he suddenly realized that he wasn't alone. Looking up, he saw that Greg had stayed behind.

"What is it, Greg?"

He hesitated. "Well, I just..."

When he stopped, Grissom once again got the feeling that the young new CSI was afraid of him. "Spit it out, Greg."

"Are you sure Sara's okay?"

"I'm sure she's fine. Like I said, she probably decided to take her night off."

"Oh, come on, Grissom! You know as well as I do that Sara always comes in on her days off, and on top of that, she takes double shifts! Not to mention a week's suspension would have killed her. She'd be itchin' to come back and you know it!"

Greg's outburst startled Grissom, and though he knew Greg was right, he fought to keep an impassive face. "Worrying won't do anybody any good, Greg. She's probably fine. Go take care of your case; it'll take your mind off things. Then, after shift, you can do whatever you want."

With that, Grissom brushed past him and headed towards her office as quickly as possible so that no one would see the worry in his eyes. Closing the door,behind him, he sat at his desk and tried to clear his mind. Instead, it suddenly hit him how ironic the situation was. He'd told Greg not to worry, but in all actuality, when he looked at it logically, he had every reason to worry. Greg was right: Sara never took a night off. The only time he ever remembered her taking one, he had called her in anyway to take the canabalized cheerleader case, and she'd been pissed. She never took off holidays; having no one to spend them with, she usually requested to work so that others could be at homewith their loved ones. Much like Grissom, she didn't understand people, so she lost herself in the job. She even came in when she was sick.

Feeling the chasm in his heart growing deeper by the second, he used the process of elimination and realized that left only two possibilities: either she'd been fired or she'd left. Knowing that there had to be some realy serious issues or some damn good competition for the first one to even be possible, he racked his brain to find a reason stong enough for her to leave.

It wasn't trust; he was positive they'd settled that issue. She couldn't have found another guy; she didn't have the time, seeing as she now spent every waking moment buried in the job. Much of the Las Vegas lifestyle disgusted her, so it was unlikely she had gone anywhere else in the city. She wouldn't go back to San Fransisco, not with all the pain associated with the surrounding area. No, Sara liked to distance herself from her problems. That in itself suggested the east coast. Boston, perhaps?

Grissom put his head down on the desk. This was giving him a headache... no, a migraine. Deciding to take the rest of the night off, he glanced at the clock. It was 3:08, well into shift, but if anything came up Sofia could take over if need be. Grabbing his jacket, he walked quickly toward the parking lot via the front exit. Judy stopped him at the front desk.

"Mr. Grissom?"

He turned. "Yes?"

"You have some mail." She held out a single slender envelope.

"Leave it on my desk. I'll read it when I get a chance." He turned to go, but was halted when he heard her voice call out again. "It's marked urgent..." Her voice trailed as she continued to hold out the letter.

Sighing, Grissom reached forward and took the letter, mumbling a hurried "Thank you," while stufing it into his breast pocket and continuing his trek to the Denali. He tried to ignore his nagging curiosity as he climbed into the driver's seat, even tried rubing his temples to ease the pounding ache, but to no avail. The envelope seemed to burn a holein his chest, flaming with inside knowledge and steaming with secrets until he pulled it out, if only to ebb the crashing waves of guilt, curiosity,a nd frustration.

Looking down at the paper in his hands, his breath caugh in his throat when he recognized the familiar scrawl. Ripping it open,he snatched out the paper within, smooting the creases as he unfolded it, revealing a short hand-written note. Emotion surged through him as he scanned the tear-stained mesage, and the not-so-neatly scrawled signiture that struck a chord within him.

Questions swarmed in his brain like a hive full of buzzing bees. Likewise, his emotions wreaked havoc within him. First confusion, then helplesness, anger, frustration, giult,a d the deepest sadness he had ever known when he realized that she was gone and it was most likely his fault. Gazing back at the page, he read:

Dear Grissom,

I'm sorry to have to leave like this, but it's the only way I know how. I had to put distance between myself and Vegas before it got any worse.

I've said before that our relationship was complicated and I know it's my fault, but whatever I did to make you hate me, I am truely sorry.Imade a mistake... I trusted you with the one thing I've never told anyone else and I thought you cared.

Well, I won't be in your way anymore. Maybe with me gone, you can enjoy whatever relationship with Sofia you might have had if you'd never met me.

Goodbye, Grissom. Enjoy your freedom, and tell the others I will miss them.

Sara

"With life traveling at 100 miles per hour, maybe one day you'll find the time to say I love you." -Anonymous

The letter slipped from his fingers as reality set in, wrenching his heart from his chest. She thought it was her fault, that he didn't care. What's worse, she thought that he hated her... God, how could she possibly think that? So much had happened between them, and just because he couldn't express it didn't mean that he didn't love her. What had he done?

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	2. After Everything That Happened

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Chapter 2

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Grissom didn't remember the drive home. He didn't rememebr coming inside and going straight to the bottom left cabinet in his kitchen. He didn't even remember pulling out the box of photographs from under his bed. All he knew was that he was now siting on his couch looking at pictures and siping his third screwdriver of the morning.

The picture he held in his hand was his favorite. Taking another sip from his glass, he stared at the image, remembering the events associated with it. It was four years ago at a Christmas party, Sara's first Christmas in Vegas. She'd brought her camera and had taken pictures of everything, including Warrick and Catherine under the mistletoe, Gregand Jacqui by the tree, and even the daytime coroner, Gary Telgenhoff on his guitar singing his first song to hit radio. She'd handed out the developed photos as gifts that year, a special way to remember how much fun they'd all had that night, despite the jabs from day shift.

This picture, however, she'd had someone else take. It was ofSara right after she'd opened her Secret Santa gift (which happened to be from him). He remembered the joy on her face when she saw the beautiful cover to a book of Shakespeare. She figured out right away who it was from, and to the surprise of nearly everyone there, thanked him with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It was at that moment that the camera clicked, forever capturing that moment on film. Flipping it over, Grissom read the message she'd written on the back:

What a night! Thanks for the book... Now I can quote Shakespeare too!

Forever Yours, Sara

His mind drifted back to the letter, and he realized once again how much she had canged and how much he missed her. What had changed? He'd struggled with that question for years; what made him think he could answer it now was beyond him. Instead, he settled on another that plagued him: What had changed enough to make her leave?

A moment later, he felt his palm smack into his brow as it hit him like a brick. How could he have been so stupid? The letter had all but spelled it out: Sofia. She knew about his date with Sofia.

No, he corrected himself, not a date. He was only trying to convince her to stay.

Wait, he thought. Maybe she wasn't gone yet... Maybe he'd gotten the letter earlier than she had intended... If that was the case, then there was a chance she was still in Vegas. Finding his phone, he called her house... Disconnected. He tried her pager... No luck; it was turned off. In desperation, he dialed her cell phone... It rang. He let out a sigh of relief then took a dep breath as he tried to figure out what exactly he was going to say, only to let it out in frustration a moment later when he heard th recording:

"We're sorry. The customer you are trying to reach is currently out of the calling area. Please-"

"Damn it!"

In frustration, Grissom heaved his phone across the room, too consumed by anger to notice, much less care, when it smashed into one of his mounted butterfly cases and sent it crashing to the floor, shattered glass flying everywhere. Plopping back down on the couch, he laid back and cursed himself for the likely irreversible damage he had done to ther nonrelationship. He felt the hot tears course down the side of his face as he kicked the box of photographs to the floor, the pictures of his past now scattered among the shards of glass.

The one photo still lovingly cradled in his hand faded as more tears blurred his vision and memories of Sara floated in and out of his mind. Soon,it joined the others on the floor as his sadness lured him into a restless sleep, only to have her haunt his dreams.

----- ----- -----

"I'd forgotten how cold the East Coast is this time of year," Sara sighed as she stared out the car window at the rain and miserable greyness that had settled over the city since her arrival, mirroring her mood. She knew it would be hard leaving Vegas, but she never knew that it would hurt this much. Leaving without saying goodbye was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do; she missed her friends, and as much as she hated to admit it, she missed Grissom.

The spell was broken when the man beside her interrupted her thoughts.

"Actually, the rain is a nice relief from the snow and sleet we've been having, but then again, Virginia isn't exactly known for having nice winter weather. Better than Vegas though, isn't it?"

"Culpepper, just because I left Vegas to take the FBI up on their offer to join Quantico's crime lab doesn't suddenly make us the bst of friends. Just get me to where I'm supposed to be and give me my assignment."

Culpepper smiled. "Eager, are we? Well, since I'm not your supervisor, technically I can't assign you to anything-"

"Thank God!"

"-but I did put in a few good words with the director, and we've got a case all lined up for you. One which I think you'll find very ineresting."

----- ----- -----

The next week seemed to crawl by. Vegas was bing its usual big bad self, but with both swing shift and graveyard being short-staffed, the entire team had to pull doubles just to cover the normal load, and with Sara gone, the time just seemed to lag. As the team made ready to leave after yet another trying day, the conversation one again turned to their former teammate.

'it's so different around here with her gone... emptier," Greg sighed as he changed his socks.

"Don't we know it..." Warrick's soulfull voice sounded from behind him. "The kind of cases we've been getting lately are her kind of mystery. they're like puzzles to her... They give her purpose. She'd have a ield day with the victimologies."

Nick chuckled a bit. "Yeah, that's where she shines, alright." Turning to his locker, the photos taped to the inside of the door caught his eye, though on inparticular stood out. Smack in the middle of his collage wa a picture of him with Warrick and Sara at a banquet a few years ago. the lab had been honored for its performance on a high profile case and for rising to the second highest ranking in the nation. He and the other guys had felt pretty ridiculous in the penguin suits that society called tuxedos, but Sara had insisted that they all looked quite handsome; which was ironic seeing as from the time she had walked into the room, no one could take their eyes off of her. They'd all agreed that she pulle off black in just the right way, and that night was no exception. She looked absolutely ravishing in her deep V-neck, spaghetti-strapped, open-backed black gown, and must have been asked to dance by every guy in the lab with the obvious exceptions of Hodges, Carvallo, and Ecklie. Yet she still insisted that she was the one who felt out of place. She'd taken the picture reluctantly, but looking back, Nick was glad he'd insisited.

He was startled out of his thoughts by Warrick's voice behind him.

"Whatcha lookin' at?"

Nick sighed and continued to stare at the photo, hearing Warrick hold his breath for a moment when he came up beside him.

"I remember that night," Warrick said, his memory drifting back. "Everyone staring at her all night made her nervous, but she still managed to dance with almost every guy there."

"Yeah," Nick replied. "Even Grissom took a chance... Man, she was gorgeous in that dress."

"She was beautiful," came Grissom's voice from the doorway. Nick and Warrick spun around, unaware that he'd even been in the room, let alone listening to the conversation. Stepping in, Grissom moved alongside them to stare at the picture. "I learned to waltz just for that night... I was nervous as hell when I asked her to join me, but once the music started, the world disappeared..."

Warrick glanced over at Nick. It was strange, he thought he'd just seen a teary mist cloud Grissom's typically unreadable eyes. Nick barely nodded, as if to say that he'd seen it too.

"Griss..." Warrick hesitated.

"Carvallo wants me to replace her," he said shortly.

"WHAT!" Both of the younger men turned away from the photos to stare at him.

"You can't!" Nick cried. "You can't replace someone like Sara!"

"I know, Nick, trust me, but-"

"She's been gone, what, a week? She didn't even say goodbye, and she wouldn't-"

"I BLEW IT!" Grissom blurted, the tears clearly beginning to pool now. "After everything that's happened, I tried to protect her. I was careful what cases I gave her, but I only held her back! I was stupid to think she'd stay after the wayI treated her, and now she's gone! She left, and she's not coming back!"

When a tear spilled over onto his cheek, he turned away from the others no longer able to stand the shock and sorrow in their eyes. Going to his own locker, he put in his badge, grabbed his jacket and slammed the door before heading quickly past them and out the door.

----- ----- -----


	3. The Truth About The Truth

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Chapter 3

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"You've got to be joking me!"

Flipping through the file, Sara was appalled. Though there were subtle differences in this case, thephotos of the victims were so hauntinglyfamiliar it made her nausious. The cord was ripped off the bedsid lamp. The girls' bodies were tied to the beds instead of posed. From the greasy streaks on the bedside tables, doorknobs, and window panes, it seemed as though the suspect had wiped everything down rather than wear gloves. Unlike other criminals, this suspect was smart enough to not ejaculate in the room, leaving no DNA other than a few stray hairs which turned out to be of no help as the DNA wasn't a match to anyone in CODIS.

Flipping through once more, Sara further noticed that anyone who had previously worked the case had turned up missing. All the names on the list were female.

Staring at Culpepper, she yelled again, "You've got to be kidding!"

"No, I'm not," he sighed. "I thought you'd be happy with a case like this."

"A copycat case? Come on, you know as well as I do that copycats are harder, since they always fix whatever mistakes the original made, especally the ones that got them caught... And this particular original was maticulous!"

"All the more reason for you to take it. You always said you enjoyed a challenge," he crooned.

"I never-"

"Think of it as a way to make a great first impression. After your eagerness to stop the original, we figured this would be the perfect case for you. Good luck, and welcome to the team."

She stared at his retreating form in shock, anger, and confusion, but a half an hour later, as she locked the door to her new apartment behind her, the most overwhelming emotion she felt surging through her was fear. Not just fear for her life, but fear that she'd fail and that her failure would lead to the torture and death of more innocent women. How could they expect her to take this on alone? It had taken the entire Vegas eam to take down the original, and Grissom had almost-

'No,' she chided herself. 'I didn't move 3,000 miles across the country for _his_ name to pop back up. I'll do it alone and I'll show them all... I don't need him...'

Sighing and wiping away the beginnings of a pool of tears, she realized this was going to be a very long - however long she would stay. Coming to the bedroom, she strew the case files on the bed, grabbed some clothes from her yet to be unpacked suitcase, and went to the bathroom. A good soak in the tub would straighten her out.

As she waited for the warm bubbly water to fill the tub, she set about making the room a bit less empty. She set her few candles by the tub and lit them with a match. She brought in and put away what few toiletries she'd brought with her. She even started taking clothes out of her bag and putting them in the small armoir, suddenly very glad she'd chosen an already furnished apartment until she could send for her things and find a larger place of her own.

But each item she pulled out of her suitcase brought with it another memory and a fresh onslaught of tears, leaving her with a sudden and overwhelming desire to hear the voices of those she'd left behind. Deserting all notions of a hot bath, Sara drained the tub and dug through her purse for her new cell. Without any thought of hesitation, her fingers flew over the keypad, automatically dialing the number she knew by heart. Only when she heard him answer did the memories of all that had happened between them resurface.

"Grissom."

Surging emotion replaced all concious thought. Despair, anger, confusion, and frustration alternately assaulted her brain as she fought to remember exactly why she had called him. She iped at the wetness that had trailed down her face, tasting the salt left on her lips.

"Hello?"

When he spoke again, she realized she had to say something, though her mouth was dry and her brain was blank. She considered simply hanging up, but she couldn't do that to him, not now... not after the way she'd left. But what was there to say?

When he called out a third time, he sounded agitated yet somehow desperate.

_"Hello?"_

"I-" Her voice cracked as she stammered. "I - I'm sorry... I - I don't know why I called.."

With that she hung up, no hearing him call her name.

----- ----- -----

"Sara? ... Sara, please don't-"

The dial tone was shrill in his ear as he clung to the phne in desperation and disbelief. Could it have been her? The answer was immediate: He'd known it was her from the moment he'd heard her voice. The only question now was should he call her back... She was obviously distraught, but once again the answer was clear. If she'd called here after a week away without a word, that could only mean that se missed him, which was a good sign.

Thumbing his way to the Call History, he redialed the number hoping against hope that she'd answer. By the third ring, he'd almost given up, but just as he was about to pull the phone from his ear, he heard a click and a sniffle, foolowed by the harsh command:

"Leave me alone, Grissom. I don't know why I bothered."

"No, Sara, please don't go," he pleaded. "There's so much that I need to explain."

She scoffed. "_Now_ you want to explain? Uh-uh, you know what? Save it for Sofia!"

Grissom stared at the ground. As much as the comment stung, he couldn't say that he didn't deserve it.

"Sara, I don't know what you think happened between me and Sofia, but watever it is, it's not true."

She let out a forced chuckle and then sniffled again. "It doesn't matter, Grissom. It was true to me. 'Truth is only that which is taken to be true. ... There may be nothing behind it, but it doesn't make any difference so long as it's honored.'"

He paused for a moment before speaking. "I would've thought Stoppard to be a bit modern for you."

"Whatever," she sighed. "The point is, I'm sick of playing your games. I'm done with it... Goodbye, Grissom."

He heard a click and a second later, the dial tone once again asaulted his eardrum.

----- ----- -----


	4. Asses on Platters and Bullets in Bindles

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Chapter 4

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"I don't care _what_ it takes, you find him and tell him to get his ass back here now! He has a responsibility to this city and to this lab. We're short-staffed on two shifts, graveyard is backlogged more than a hundred cases, and Sidle was due to be replaced two weeks ago. If he thinks he can just disappear, he's sadly mistaken... Oh, and Catherine, you be sure to tell him that if we weren't so short-staffed right now, I'd fire his ass!"

"No, you wouldn't," she challenged. "Carvallo'd have _your_ ass on a platter before you could even get the words out, and don't think for a minute that I haven't tried to get in touch with him. He won't answer his phone and if he's at home, he's not answering his door either."

"Then you had better try harder. I don't have to remind you how this works, do I?"

She sighed in response.

"Good, because it would do the city a disservice to lose such a talented individual." An evil smile crossed his face as he watched emotions rage within her.

"You bastard," she breathed, clearly battling to restrain herself. "You self-absorbed, egotistical, pig-headed, sniviling little bastard!"

At this, he laughed. "Good show, Catherine! And such an extended vocabulary!"

"You don't even what to hear my full vocab-"

"That's enough!" He cut her off and stood before her, his look trained to kill. "I thought you'd've learned from Sidle's mistake: I don't tolerate insubordination. Don't forget, Ms. Willows, you owe me and that means that _I_ hold the cards. You find Grissom and get him back here, or it'll be _your _ass on a platter."

Catherine stod still, challenging his stare and trying like hell to keep her composure. For a moment it seemed she would withstand the battle, but the pressure became too much and when she knew she couldn't last much longer, she spit at his feet and left without a word.

----- ----- -----

Two days later, while she waited on her evidence, Sara decided to take a personal tour of the Quantico lab. Twice the size of the Vegas lab with twice the equipment, there was something new around every corner, and every bt of it fascinated her. The DNA lab was separate from the chem lab, the morgue was separate from the X-ray room which was separate from the autopsy room, all of which were filled with equipment she had only read about in books.

But as she neared the back of the lab, and consequently the end of her tour, there was one room that held her captive. A woman had just walked into the ballistics lab with evidence from a case. Sara watched as she handed a young man in a wheelchair, who looked to be about Greg's age,two separate bindles and a highly powered rifle that had been found in a suspect's home. As the lab tech took the evidence, he noticed Sara in the doorway.

"Can I help you?" he asked, somewhat coldly as the other woman brushed past her.

Sara blushed. "Uh, no, sorry... I - I'm new here, and was just looking around... Ballistics always interested me because of the physics, and I was just admiring your lab."

"Well, admire quietly, I have work to do." He wheeled around and over to his workstation, taking the evidence from his lap to spread on the table top before him. As he opened the bindles and dumped their contents, Sara unconsiously inched forward, her curiousity getting the better of her. Out of the first bindle dropped 3 shell casings. Moving one to a microscope and another to the scanner, the young tech ran the casings through IBIS while making a comparison to a casing from another scene. Proclaiming a match a moment later, he turned to the other bindle. Sara leaned closer to see a large bullet fall into the tech's hand.

"Wow," she said. "BFB-"

The tech spun at her, effectively cutting her off. "Yes," he hissed, "a big freaking bullet. Is that all you damn interns know how to do? Go around harrassing all the_ real_ agents in this lab with all your newly learned vocabulary?"

Taken aback by his comment, Sara furrowed her brow. "I'm not an intern, I'm-"

"Look, I don't care who you are or where you're from; Just get the hell out of my lab so I can work!" Wheeling his chair back to his station, he heaved a sigh of fruustration before returning to his analysis of the bullet.

Sara backed out of the room, irritated but not really angry at the man. If anything, her pride was hurt, but she reminded herself that this was not her first less-than-warm welcome here. More than once she'd been greeted with cold stares and whispered remarks. Taking a glance back before heading to check on her own evidence, Sara sighed. While the young tech may have momentarily reminded her of a combination of bobby D and Greg, he definitely had an attitude reminiscent of Hodges.

----- ----- -----

Catherine sat at the break room table staring at the phone in her hand, a silent war raging within her. Looking at the name in her phone book, she wondered what he was doing right now. They all knew that he was upset; Sara had left without a word to any of them, and three weeks later, they'd still heard nothing of her. Now Grissom had disappeared. It had been four days since anyone had seen him at the lab, and Catherine was worried. If she knew Grissom (and after 15 years of friendship, she knew him well), something like this was likely to throw him into depression, and a depression for Grissom was _not _a good thing.

On the other hand, if she couldn't get him to come back...

"Hey Catherine, you all right?"

She turned to see Warrick staring at her from the doorway. When she put her head down on the table in response, he came in and took the chair next to her.

"What's been thrown at you this time?"

Her response was muffled: "Ecklie."

"Now what does he want? Hasn't he done enough?" His soulful voie was colored with anger.

"Aparently not," she sighed. "He certainly enjoys playing puppetmaster..."

Warrick's head snapped up, not liking the sound of that comment. Choosing his words carefully, he asked, "What do you mean? ..." When she didn't answer, he continued. "Cath, what's going on? Is everything alright?"

She hesitated, looking around as if to see anyone was watching nearby. Speaking softly, she explained. "He thinks I owe him for giving me the promotion. He keeps hanging it over my head so I'l do things for him, saying that he can take things away just as easliy as he can dish them out. At one point he even threatened to-"

"He _threatened_ you!" he exclaimed, clearly shocked that even Ecklie would go that low.

"No," she said quickly, "not me. He knows better than that, but he threatened all I hold dear, and he knows what that entails..." Her voice was shaking, and though she tried to cover it up, Warrick knew she was scared for her daughter. Worried for a woma who was rarely rattled, he tried to calm her.

"Look, Cath, you can't let him get to you. Ecklie's an ass, and this is exactly what he wants... Be the bigger person; go to Brass."

She shook her head. "He'd find out... Besides, who's going to believe me? I've had to be such a jerk to people throughout this whole thing, especially to Sara, not because I wanted to but because it takes all the blame off of Ecklie and makes it look like it was all me-"

Warrick held his hand up. "Whoa, slow down... I believe you, remember? Besides, they believed me when I had the judge all over my back." Laying a hand on her shoulder, he continued. "Go to Brass. He'll know what to do, and before you know it, we'll catch the bastard and it'll be over."

----- ----- -----

**...TBC...**

**A/N: please review! this story is still in its manuscript stage and is not yet officially finished, and i need to know what you think before i can finish it! please review!**


	5. Hell Shows No Mercy

----- ----- -----

Chapter 5

----- ----- -----

"Positive for two sets of epithelials. One is the victim's, but the other has no match in CODIS."

Sara stared back and forth between the printed results and the DNA lab tech's face as if the results would change.

"Nothing?"

"Nothing that makes sense." The tech held out a series of printouts and sighed. "The hairs you sent, one of them belonged to the vic, which was no surprise since you found it in her bed. But the other belonged to a toddler who drowned in Lake Michigan three years ago near Chicago. The third set of epithelials you sent in belonged to a 78-year-old homebound patient in the care of Brunswick, Maine's Memorial Hospital who died of a heart attack last month. The print on the footboard of the last vic's bed was that of a felon with a life sentence in a female correctional facility in New Mexico... Your suspect has been planting evidence everywhere."

Sara's shoulders slumped. "I should've known. Serials get smarter with every attack...Okay, thanks Tanya." She turned to leave.

"Don't you turn your back on me, Agent Sidle! I never said that I was finished!"

Sara looked back with a raised eyebrow and a smile. "Really? Well, enlighten me."

Smiling back, Tanya pulled out one last results page. "Your suspect may have been planting evidence, but the ones who think that they're smart always forget something. In this case, the semen stain on the wall outside the last victim's window."

"He left love gaffitti!"

"Yeah, stupid prick. The DNA didn't match anything in CODIS, but lucky for you it's a match to the stain found at another victim's home."

Sara smiled. "Lucky for me and all the other girls in Virginia. Tanya, you're a genious!"

"I know... Now get outta here and catch the bastard!"

----- ----- -----

"What do you mean you can't do anything!"

Warrick stared at Brass unbelieveingly. Standing next to him, Catherine wore much the same look.

"I told you: it goes over my head-"

"I wore the mic and planted the spy camera in his office. You heard him threaten me and my job. Tell me again why you can't do anything?" Catherine was pissed, and her face showed it. More than that, her voice was just below a dull roar.

Brass walked past her to close the door. "Look, Catherine, I _want_ to do something, I really do, but it's over my head. Now you know I can't discuss and ongoing investigation, but-"

"Wait, 'ongoing investigation'?" Warrick cried as his deep green eyes opened wider than thought possible.

"Yes," Brass sighed, "an ongoing investigation. The recordings are being sent to... a higher power."

By now, Catherine was shaking with anger. "Blackmail needs to be sent to a higher power?"

"No, blackmail we could've handled, but we decided to keep the tapes rolling after you left the office, and what he did when he thought that no one was watching calls for a higher power to step in. If I could do any more myself I would, really, but it's out of my hands now."

Catherine walked out of the office feeling empty and betrayed. Once again, it seemed that justice had forsaken the Willows family.

----- ----- -----

Walking out of the interrogation room, Sara felt triumphant. This was the guy, she could feel it in her gut, and the DNA would prove it. He didn't know that they'd found the semen stains. He thought that the DNA sample was just for comparison purposes, and to his knowledge, he'd left nothing for them to compare it to anyways. Sara smiled. That had to be her favorite part of being in the interrogation room: she could legally lie ot suspects.

The only part of this entire process that bothered her was the fact that since the DNA sample was voluntary and technically they couldn't charge Rory McNabb with anything yet, he was free to go rape, torture and kill more innocent women, or worse, move on to another state all together if he thought that they were on to him.

Looking at her watch, Sara yawned. Shift was over, and she could do with a good night's sleep. Chuckling, she realized just how odd that sounded. She still wasn't quite used to sleeping in the dark, but she told herself that over time, that would change. Over time, she'd adjust to the normal world. She grabbed her coat and purse, hung up her lab coat, and headed out to her car. As she had done several times before, she climbed in, closed the door, and stared at the case files for a few moments.

But suddenly, something bothered her... Hadn't she locked the doors earlier? The unsettling feeling in her stomach increased as she set the files aside and made ready to leave. Adjusting the seat and side mirrors, she finally fixed the rear view mirror, only to reveal a dark and deadly familiar face. He covered her face to stifle her screams.

"You made a mistake, Agent Sidle," said the sinister voice of Rory McNabb. "You shouldn't have brought me into this. Now you're going to wish you'd left it alone."

----- ----- -----

"Hey Cath, some guy in an Armani was just tearing me a new one with questions, and-"

"SHHH!" Pulling him into her office and shutting the door, Catherine eyed Nick wearily. "Don't shout. Who was asking questions?"

"Some guy who flashed a badge too quick for me to read. It was bizarre," he said, his brows furowed in thought. "All his questions were about you and Ecklie."

She sat down in her desk chair and rubbed her temples in an effort to ease the throbbing behind her eyes. "That's because he's a Fed."

His eyes went wide. "A Fed! As in the FBI! What's goin-"

"Whatdid you tell him, Nick?"

"Nothing, just that it's no secret around here that Ecklie's a kissass to everyone above himand a pain in the ass to everyone else."

That gave Catherine a small smile. "Good... that's good, Nicky. I like that." She sighed. "Look, Ecklie's a tricky situation right now. He's under investigation, but we can't let him know that. He has to think that he's completely safe so they can catch him redhanded."

"Doing what?"

"I'm not exactly sure. They won't let me in on that part, but it's above and beyond Brass... Right now, I have to focus on getting Grissom back. It's been a week since anyone has seen him and I'm really starting to get worried."

----- ----- -----

Grissom lay still on the couch, listening to the seemingly neverending "beep... beep... beep..." of his answering machine, canstantly alternating between not caring and wanting to smash it against a wall. Of course, that would require getting up off the couch on which he had been living for a week straight, and so he sat wallowing in his guilt and grief, simply staring at his broken butterfly cse and the shattered glass which he hadn't the heart to clean up.

The sudden ring of his telephone no longer startled him. Glancing briefly at the caller id and recognizing the number as Catherine's cell, he ignored the inecessant noise and let the answering machine pick up again.

"Grissom," her voice squaked over the speaker, "I know you're there. Please pick up... (sigh) Please? ... Grissom, come on, we need you over here. It's getting crazy! We're incredibly short-staffed, and Ecklie's gone haywire! Not that you care about Ecklie... We got Feds everywhere, asking questions and digging through records and case files. It's a madhouse! Please pick up. We need you... Alright, just give me a call, okay? At least let me know that you're alive... Bye." _Beep... Beep... Beep..._

'Well,' he thought, 'at least I'm not imagining the world going to Hell.' He rolled over and was completely content to go back to sleep when the phone rang again. Giving an exasperated sigh, he turned back to check the caller id.

Suddenly, he sat straight up and whirled around. If he remembered correctly, that was the same area code as the number Sara had called from. With any luck, she was calling from a different phone. He got up and started searching for his cordless phone. He knew it was around here somewhere... He remembered throwing it across the room one day.

By the time he found the dent it had made in the wall, the answering machine picked up.

"Hello, Mr. Grissom. My name is Susan Barnes, and I'm a nurse at the Mercy Hospital in Richmond, Virginia. We have you down as the only next of kin for a Miss Sara Sidle. If you could..."

'Oh God, please no,' he thought, now searching even more fervently. Finally, he found the phone behind the entertainment center's left speaker.

"Hello?" he called out to the nurse.

"Yes, Mr. Grissom, are you still the next of-"

"Yes, I am," he interrupted. He hesitated, not knowing quite how to describe his relationship with Sara. "I'm a ... friend of hers. Is she okay?"

"That, Mr. Grissom, I would prefer to discuss when you get here."

----- ----- -----

**... TBC ...**

**A/N: please review! even i don't know how the story will end yet...**


	6. Virginia's Hope

----- ----- -----

Chapter 6

----- --- - -----

Catherine was at the end of her rope. To most in the lab, the FBI's presense was still unknown, but Ecklie was becoming unbearable, and the fear of discovery wieghed heavier on her every time she crossed his path. The fact that Crvallo was also laying it on her to find Grissom and a replacement for Sara didn't help.

Looking around the crime scene, she called out to Nick, "You got this?"

He nodded. "Yeah, no problem. Not much left to do."

"Alright... I got some paperwork to handle. I'm going back to the lab. Check in with me in my office when you log everything in."

"You got it, boss."

Heading for her car, she was startled by a ringing at her hip. Looking down at her cell, she took it out of it's pocket and flipped it open.

"Willows," she answered.

"Catherine, I need you and Sofia to take over graveyard for a while."

She stopped in her tracks. "Gil, is that you?"

"No Catherine, it's Santa Clause... You asked me to call and let you know I'm alright... Well, i'm alright, but I'm going away, and-"

"Wait, Grissom, stop... Going away? Where? Why?"

"Don't worry, I'll be back. I'm just not sure when. I'm going to Virginia."

"VIRGINIA!" she nearly screamed, causing Grissom to have to momentarily pull the phone from his ear. "What the hell is in Virginia?"

"Sara," was his only response.

Her car door now open, Catherine plooped down into the seat and was silent. After a moment, she said quietly, "Gil, I don't know if that's such a good idea."

"She's in the hospital, Catherine." Static crackled over the phone line. "Look, I'm already at the airport and my flight number was just called. I have to go. Just do me a favor and don't tell the others."

She sighed. "No problem. We got enough of a mess over here as it is. The last thing we need is more bad news... Be careful, Gil. Good luck."

"There's no such thing as luck. Only hope."

She thought for a moment. "Whitman?"

He shook his head. "Grissom." _Click._

----- ----- -----

The flight to Rickmond was somber and quiet. He couldn't sleep and reading proved to be a waste of time. Al his thoughts centered around Sara. His mind kept coming up with different reasons why she'd be in the hospital, and each scenario was worse than the last. He was somewhat relieved when the plane landed and he walked off into the noisy Ricmond airport.

On his way to baggage claim, he thought about the phone call from Susan Barnes. She'd promised to meet him at the hospital and take him to Sara's room, as Sara was her main patient between 10:00 and 3:00 rounds. Though she refused to discuss Sara's condition, she did say that she knew Sara would want him there.

A while later, luggage in hand and neing put into the trunk of a taxi, he realized how terrified he was. He was 20 minutes from finding out if the woman he loved would ever come back home where she belonged... 20 minutes from learning if she even cared about any of them anymore... 20 minutes from discovering if she would even live.

"Where to?" asked the cabbie?

Though fearing what lie ahead, he took a deep breath and said firmly, "Mercy Hospital, please."

----- ----- -----

"Where the hell is he! I thought you were bringing him back!"

"I would, except he's in Virginia right now," Catherine retorted.

"WHAT THE HELL IS IN VIRGINIA!" Ecklie yelled, placing the ball firmly in her court.

She hesitated. "I-I don't know," she lied, shifting in her chair. That's al he would tell me."

"Well," he said, taking control, "you tell him that he's got three days to get his ass back here before he loses his job." He turned to leave.

She huffed and stared in shock at the back of his head. "You - you can't do that!"

"Oh, yes I can," he sneered, turning back to face her. "As I told Grissom the night I split you up, as Assistant Director, it is clearly within my perview not only to fill any open positions in this lab, but to create them." As he spoke, he walked toward her, causing her to slowly walk backwards unil she was both figuratively and literally backed into a corner. "I have plans, Ms. Willows and no smartass like you or Grissom is going to ruin them."

His evil smile infuriated Catherine. "You asshole!" she whispered. "You're a monster, a coniving, power-hungry-"

She was cut off by his hand closing around her windpipe, pinning her to the wall. Her body went rigid and her eyes opene wide as her fingers clawed at hishand and arm, trying to pull it away. Her labored breathing quickened in panic as her heart beat faster and faster, threateneing to pound through her chest. White sparkles began to appear in her perifferal vision as she caught his eye, and another devilish grin crossed his face.

"I told you, Catherine: I don't tolerate insubordination."

Black dots began to replace the sparkles in her eyes, but just as she felt herself start to slip away, his hand dropped with a snap and he walked to the door, leaving her doubled over gasping for breath. He waited in the doorway a moment watching, before he caught her attention once more.

"Get him back, Catherine. I don't care how you do it, just get it done."

----- ----- -----

Taking the elevator to the third floor, Grissom's stomach was in knots. He could never remember being as nervous as he was in that moment, and the tinkling elevator music wasn't helping. Their conversation from her first and only phone call rang in his ears, her voice raw and shakey, almost afraid. He hoped she wasn't afraid now, though knowing Sara, when she found out that she was in the hospital, she was probably just pissed.

Looking up, he realized that in his nervousness, he'd missed his floor and had gone up one too many. When he found his way again, he stopped at the third floor nursing station andlooked around. There were people everywhere: some in scrubs, some in street clothes, others in suits; many thatpassed bywere wearing hospital gowns and laying on gurneys. He scanned th crowd for Sara, but instead a young nurse about Sara's age was heading his diretion. Her blue and purple scrubs parting the crowd, she got closer.

"Mr. Grissom?" she asked, extending her hand.

"Yes?"

She shook his hand. "I'm Susan Barnes. We spoke on the phone."

"Yes, I remember..."

Sensing his anxiousness, she pointed down the hall. "Sara's room is just down the corridor there. Room 317. You go on ahead, and I'll be in to check on her after I finish my rounds."

Nodding, he watched as she made her way past him, excusing herself as she moved through the crowd dowm to the next hallway. He sighed, and looking around once more, made his way in the direction of Sara's room. As he walked, Grissom had the sensation that he was in one of those old movies where it seems that no matter how far you walk, you never get any closer to your goal. His destination seemed miles away, and with every step his stomach tied in another knot. Questions flew through his mind... What had happened to her? Was she awake? Would she be happy to see him? Would she be angry? Would he come out with a bruise?

When he came to the door, he put all his questions to rest as he felt for a sip of paper in his breast pocket. With a sigh, he left it there. That was a last resort, and he told himself that he would only take it out when all other options disappeared.

With a deep sigh, he opened the dor and walked inside.

----- ----- -----


	7. The Hardest Words

----- ----- -----

Chapter 7

----- ----- -----

The first thing Grissom saw once he was in the room was the curtain around the bed partially pulled back. He could hear a heart monitor singing it's lonely tune and Sara's slow, steadybreathing, meaning she was probably asleep. Pulling back the curtain, he was surprised how much she had changed. In her month and a half away from Vegas, her hair had grown longer and darker, but her complexion was paler.

'That may just be from the lighting, though,' he thought.

His eyes darted around like he was at a crime scene. He noticed the IV in her right arm and her broken left wrist wrapped in an ACE bandage. She had bruises on her arms, cheeks and neck. What worried him the most was the gauze covering her left temple, which had not been changed for he could only guess how long. It broke his heartto see her like this, laying helpless in a hospital bed hurting. He sat in the chair next to her bed and put his head in his hands, mad at himself for making her leave her home in search of the love and acceptance she didn't know she had.

He was startled out of his thoughts by a low groan and a whimper. He looked up to see Sara tossing and turning in her sleep. She shifted again, wincing in pain, this time whispering something so softly that he couldn't quite make it out. He moved his chair closer to the bed and took her hand in his, hoping to calm her. Instead, she called out louder, shifting back and forth as if trying to escape some dangerous fate. He let go of her and stepped back in guilt and shock at her words.

Again, she cried out, "Grissom!"

A tear escaped as he sat again in the chair. "I'm here," he whispered. "I'm right here, Sara."

"It's strange, isn't it?"

Grissom whirled around to see Susan Barnes standing in the doorway. Coming in and adjusting Sara's IV, both watched as she began to calm.

"She was unconscious when the paramedics got there. Someone had found her on the side of the road, lying in the snow with no jacket. Her clothes were torn and she was covered in bruises, bleeding from the temple. They still don't know how long she was lying there... Anyways, she's been here for three days and she still hasn't woken up, but every once in a while she'll have these fits. Adjusting the morphine is the only way to calm her."

When a million different possibilities came racing to his mind, Grissom had to push his investigative nature aside. Never taking his eyes off of Sara, he took a deep breath and asked, "Who found her?"

"The police officer at the scene said that a couple traveling through had stalled their car. Whe they got out to check under the hood, they saw her in the ditch."

He sighed, sinking deeper into his chair. This was too much to handle.

"She has a concussion, doesn't she?"

Susan nodded.

"So she may never wake up..."

The nurse gave a sad smile. "There's always hope."

----- ----- -----

Days passed. Grissom slept in the chair by Sara's bed, no longer bothered by the constant ins and outs of the doctors and nurses. If anything, it was comforting to know that she had so much attention. He passed the time by talking to her, telling her stories of things that had happened while she was gone, and sharing memories of what now seemed so long ago.

It was now the third day since he'd arrived. He'd been comfortably sleeping in his chair when he was awakened by movement beside him. Blinking a few times to adjust his eyes to the light in the room, he looked over to see Sara growing restless agin. As the nurses had taken to letting him try to calm her, he knew they'd be alone. He took her hand and stroked it, coupling the action with words of comfort, hoping to God that this time she might awaken.

"It's alright, Sara. I'm here," he whispered. "I'm not going anywhere, I promise."

For a while, it seemed to be working. Her shifting slowed and became less violent, her breathing relaxed, her heart rate dropped, and her whispers faded, leaving Grissom relieved and filled with hope for the coming days.

But a few minutes later it started again, worse then before. Her head turned back and forth, her body thrashed as if she were having a siezure, and her whispers turned into cries so loud that he was surprised they couldn't be heard down the hall. Nothing he tried worked. His words of comfort were lost in the din, and every time she called out, his heart broke a little more. Not knowing what else to do, he pulled back, but her hand clenched so tightly to his that he couldn't let go. He moved to adjust the morphine. He didn't get the chance.

Suddenly, she sat bolt upright, eyes wideopen and breathing heavily, only to fall back onto one elbow and grasp her wrapped wrist in pain. Looking around wildly to try and firgure out where she was, she was taken by surprise when she finally realized that someone else was in the room. When she saw who it was, her heart wrenched and her brain went haywire.

"Grissom?" she gasped, still trying to control her breathing. "What the hell are you doing here? ... And where the hell am I?"

He managed to move away from the IV and sit back down in the chair. "Mercy Hospital in Richmond," he said quickly swiping at a tear of mixed emotion. "You've been here for almost a week. They'll want to know that you're awake..."

"No," she said quickly, reaching out her good hand to stop him from pressing the call button. "Not yet... I know what happened was terrible, but you don't belong here, and I just want to go home, okay?"

At this Grissom perked up. "The team will be thrilled. They miss you so much, Sara, and-"

"Vegas is _not_ my home anymore," she cut in, her voice cracking. "I'm fine here. My handler trusts me, and I am this close to solving the biggest case of my career..."

Grissom was hurt. Again, the trust issue had reared its ugly head and opened up the chasm between them even wider.

"Sara..."

"No, Grissom. I don't want to hear it! Just answer my question... What are you doing here?"

All emotion draining from his face, he answered sofltly, "Nurse Barnes called me, saying that I was the only listed next of kin."

She sighed. "I knew I forgot something."

"Sara, please, just listen-"

"No, _you_ listen: I came out here to heal, to put the whole thing behind me. But I can't do that with you here... Just- Please, just go."

Grissom was cut to the core. Happiness he could have handled easily, even being unwelcome was expected, but to be completely shunned was beyond his power to understand. But, he'd promised to end the hurt, and if this was what it would take to make her happy, he would do it.

"Alright," he sighed. "I have my cell... You know the number."

Getting up from the chair, he took the letter from his breast pocket and laid it on the bedside table. The tear that graced his cheekbone went unnoticed; she had turned her back to him, and was now staring resolutely out the window.

On his way out the door, he took one final bacward glance, and though he couldn't see her face, he knew there was a tear in her eye as well. With a broken heart and a deep breath, he uttered the two hardest words he'd ever had to say:

"Goodbye, Sara."

----- ----- -----


	8. His Letter

----- ----- -----

Chapter 8

----- ----- -----

When the door closed behind him, Sara took a ragged breath.

"I'm not going to cry," she told herself firmly, blinking away the tears that had begun to form. "I won't...I'm just going to hit the call button, and focus on getting out of here."

Before she could reach it, however, the door opened and a blonde nurse in pink and purpe scrubs walked in, her eyes never leaving the chart in her hands. Sara remained silent, waiting for the nurse to look her way. She watched as the young woman flitted about the room, flipping charts, changing the rotation schedules, and recording information on her clipboard. Finally, Sara cleared her throat in an effort to gain the woman's attention.

The suden noise clearly startled her out of her thoughts, but when she looked up, she seemed delighted to see Sara awake.

"Ms. Sidle! ... Well, welcome back to us. I'm glad to see that you're finally awake."

Sara gave a shy smile. "Thank you..."

"You know," continued the nurse, "I wondered why Mr. Grissom had left. After three days in that chair, he must have been very relieved to see you feeling better and-"

"Wait," Sara interrupted, holding up a hand to stop the woman's rambling. "He was here that long?"

The woman nodded. "He stayed right there next to you the whole time. It was hard for him to see you suffer through those nightmarish fits, but he stayed. He spoke to you, told you stories... anything to calm you. He even-"

"Held my hand..." Sara finished the sentence, laying backin her bed, her mind reeling.

The nurse smiled. "Yes."

"Then I wasn't imagining it..."

Ignoring this last statement, the woman laid her clipboard on the bedside table. "I'll go and tell the doctor you're awake. If everything checks out and he gives the okay, you should be able to sign the release paperwork and go home."

As the nurse left, the dull ache behind Sara's eyes intensifiedwith a growing headache that no aspirin would relieve. _Home?_ At this point, she was so confused that she wasn't even sure where that was. She'd told Grissom that Vegas wasn't home anymore; she'd be completely out of place in Boston, having left there ages ago. She couldn't go back to San Fransisco, and staying with the FBI had nearly gotten her killed.

Swiping at yet another unbidden tear, she laid back and asked the cieling,

"Now what am I supposed to do?"

----- ----- -----

Several hours later, Sara sat in her apartment near Quantico thinking she'd answered that question. The doctor had come in and looked her over, saying that there appeared to nothing wrong at first glance, other than a few scratches and bruises and her broken wrist. Just to be safe, though, he'd run a few tests. Blood pressure, reflexes, and other simple ones to start, and then later, they'd drawn blood, taken X-rays, and done a CATscan, along with countless other things she didn't know the names of. But, eventually, they'd all come to the same conclusion: she was fit as a fiddle and ready to leave. So they'd packed a large paper bag with all her personal belongings, got all the paperwork in order, and let her go.

Now, she sat on the couch and was going through the bag. She took out herweapon and her badge, staring at the latter for a moment and tracing the letters 'FBI' with her finger. Setting it on the coffetable, she set the bag down and dove back in. The next item was her purse, which surprised her... She hadn't expected to get it back. She then pulled out herpager and cell phone, both of which were laden with messages. Sighing, she swore she'd get back to them later and set them aside.

To make sure that was everything, she turned the bag upside down and shook it. An envelope fluttered out and onto the floor, peaking Sara's interest as she bent to pick it up. Turning it over in her hand, she saw her name scrawled on the front in neat print, but no other inscriptions anywhere. Wary of who might be sending her such a note, she hesitated, but eventually her curiousity got the better of her. She pulled out the letter from within and read:

_Dear Sara,_

_If you are reading this, it means that you are still angry with me, and rightfully so. I've been terrible to you and I know that I deserve everything you've dished out at me, but please don't give up on me yet. I still have so much to explain._

_Things have been rough since you left. With you gone, both swing and graveyard shift crews are pulling doubles just to carry the regular load. We're incredibly short-staffed, and Carvallo and Ecklie wanted me to replace you, but I couldn't... I guess I still held out hope that, somehow, you'd come back._

_The guys miss you terribly and everyone asks aobut you, assuming that you've kept in touch. They were glad to know that you think of them, but jealous that I had spoken to you. I told them theat they hadn't missed anything, but they didn't believe me... I guess they were right, though, because it was wonderful to hear your voice and know that you were thinking of me too._

_In truth,I never stopped thinking of you, Sara. I realize that I've made a lot made a lot of stupid mistakes over the years, and have driven you away in the process. I have so much to apologize for, and much of it is unforgivable, but I hope you can find it in your heart to do so. If not, then I leave you with this:_

_I love you, Sara, and I can't lose you again. I've loved you for years but didn't know how to express it, and it nearly killed me when you left thinking that I hated you._

_Forgive me... Forgive me all my stupid mistakes and help me to repair the damage I've done._

_Come home to me._

_Forever Yours,_

_Grissom_

The letter fell to the floor. She was speechless. If she'd had any idea...

'My God,' she thought. 'What's wrong with me?'

Remembering his final words to her, she grabbed her cell phone and dialed the number she knew by heart. Her pulse quickened as the phone rang without answer, which she supposed was a blessing in disguise for, in reality, she didn't know what she would say. Hanging up and tossing the phone into her purse, she ran to the bedroom and started packing her things as quickly as she possibly could. About 20 minutes later, she tossed the small bags into the trunk of her car and headed fo the airport in Richmond, the words "Come home to me" floating through her mind, and hoping to God she wasn't too late.

----- ----- -----


	9. What Love Is Worth

----- ----- -----

Chapter 9

----- ----- -----

Arriving at the airport just in time to watch the arrival/departure board change, Sara went straight to the information desk.

"Excuse me," she called, trying to get the attention of the man behind the desk. "Excuse me, is there any flight leaving today for Las Vegas? I'm in a terrible hurry."

Turning to the computer, he typed something in and clicked the mouse a few times. What was actually only a few minutes of waiting seemed like an eternity to Sara. She didn't want to be rude, but she had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.

'Please,' she pleaded silently, 'please let him stll be here.'

The man turned and pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Yes, Delta had one scheduled for earlier this morning that was delayed, but-"

"Are there any others?" she asked.

"No, miss, but-"

Not waiting for the rest of his response, Sara grabbed her bags and ran as fast as she could to the other side of the airport. Twice she nearly fell in her haste to reach the Delta gate, but arriving there are getting back to Vegas was all that kept her from giving up. When she reached the gate, it was crowded. From the conversations floating all around her, a flight had just come in from the neighboring gate, and making her way through the mass of people was like trying to part the Red Sea.

Making her way to the ticket desk, she finally got the attention of the woman behind the counter.

"Can I help you, miss?"

"Yes, I was told that there was a flight scheduled for this morning that was delayed? ..."

"Yes," the smiling woman replied. "It was supposed to leave at 11:36 this morning, but it was delayed because of the storms nearby."

"I need to get on that flight," Sara said emphatically.

"Oh..." The woman's smile disappeared. "I'm sorry, but you've just missed it... It left about five minutes ago."

Her words hit Sara like a brick. Her only chance to stop the man she loved from leaving forever had just flown away. Turning back to the woman, she managed a weak "Thank you" before working her way back through the crowd to find a place to sit. Finding a row of seats near the gate door, she dumped her bags on the floor around her and buried her face in her hands, finally opening the floodgate that had threatened to break loose on several occasions. Anger, despair, and hopelessness coursed through her, causing her to shake as she sobbed.

How stupid could she have been?

Suddenly the hairs on the back of her neck stood up. Her tears stopped and her sobbs desolved into hiccups as she stood and looked around. Only one thing gave her that feeling, even after so long, and she knew what that meant... He was here.

Frantically, she searched face after face in the crowd, looking for his. Not seeing him, she moved a few feet closer to the sea of people, in hopes of a better vantage point.

A shiver ran down her spine, raising the hairs still further and intensifying the magnetic pull. She could feel him... If only she could-

"Hello Sara."

She wheeled around to seeGrissom standing among her luggage beside the row of seats, one small suitcase in hand. At the sight of him, her heart melted and the only place she wanted to be was in his arms. She started to run. Immediately he dropped his bag and caught her as she threw her arms around him, closing her swollen eyes and taking him in.

"Oh, God," she cried, "I thought you'd left..."

"Shhhh," he whispered. "I'm right here." He ran his fingers through her hair, stroking her for comfort.

They stayed there for a few moments, both content to hold on to the other forever. But suddenly,he began to pull back.

Sniffling, Sara looked up in concern. "What's wrong?"

"Why are you here?" he asked. "How did you get out of the hospital?"

"They released me. Said I was fine and I could go home, which is what I was trying to do..."

"They said you were _fine_?" he asked incredulously. "You had a concussion and a blow to the head that should have killed you... You were in a coma for a week! How can they say that you were fine?"

Sara gave a dry chuckle. "Believe me, they had a test for everything... I'm okay, really. They even packed my things for me..." She hesitated. "Which is where I found your letter."

Grissom watched her gaze drop as she said those last words. "You read it?"

She nodded, then slowly looked up, gazing into his everchanging eyes. The deepest blue of the ocean looked back at her from those eyes, telling her that he was just as emotionally on the edge as she was, and that he too needed to understand exactly what it was between them. Swallowing her pride, she went on.

"Grissom, I wasn't mad at you. I was never mad at you... I left because I was heartbroken. I was tired of being pulled in by your praises only to be pushed away again by your silence. It hurt, and hearing about Sofia was the last bit of hurt I could take."

He remained silent. While not exactly the response he'd hoped for, it told him what he needed to know. He waited a moment before he made his reply.

"Where did you hear it from?" he asked quietly.

"Sofia was telling Greg and Mia about it in the DNA lab, and-"

"Did she talk to you about it?"

"She didn't have to, she spelled it out loud and clear... She told Greg that the rest of the night was none of his business."

She turned from him, embarrassed, but he wouldn't give up. Taking her by the elbow, he turned her around again gently.

"Sara, look at me," he pleaded. "Sofia is an employee who was given the raw end of a deal. She didn't deserve the demotion and she knew it, so she was going to quit. I asked her to dinner because she was going on Ecklie's word, and you know as well as I do that Ecklie's full of shit... We ate, and we talked. That's all."

She looked up and met his pleading gaze, breaking his heart with the questions in her eyes. In a small childlike voice, she asked,  
"Promise?"

He pulled her into a hug and held her tight. "I promise you... I didn't come three thousand miles and get off my flight home to get you back and then lie to you."

She pulled back, simply staring at him in awe and confusion. When speech came back to her, she managed, "You were on that flight? ... But they told me that it left five minutes before I got there."

"It did."

"Then, how-"

"I sat on that plane through the entire delay with every intention of returning to Vegas. But when I heard the announcement that we were about to take off, I realized that I couldn't leave you without giving it one last chance. So I got off the plane, prepared to let you go if that's what you wnated, but hoping to God that you'd come after me... and you did."

"You did all that for me?" she whispered.

He pulled her back in against himself, holding her tightly. "It was worth it."

----- ----- -----


	10. A Homecoming to Remember

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Chapter 10

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Two days later, Catherine sat in the locker room putting an a last few touches of makeup to cover up the buises on her face and neck. As she was closing her locker, Sofia appeared in the doorway.

"Any word?"

Catherine shook her head. "I'm really starting to get worried. It's been two weeks, and no one's heard from him."

"Well," Sofia sighed, "looks like we get to start another double."

"No, you don't," came a voice from behind them.

Confused, they both turned to see Grissom standing in the hall. Before they could get over their shock, he added, "Find the boys and get them all into the conference room. I've looked over the cases for tonight, and Vegas is a mess."

With that, he dissappeared in the direction of the conference room.

"Wait, Griss-"

Catherine's cry went unanswered and she was left gaping at the now empty hall from her place on the bench. She and Sofia stood staring in silence for a moment, trying desperately to understand what the hell had just happened when Greg, Warrick and Nick walked in laughing.

"Hey!" Nick called.

"What's up, boss ladies?" Warrick acknowledged the women before heading to his locker.

"Grissom just walked in and told us to go to the conference room for assignments," Sofia said flatly, as if still trying to absorb it.

"No way!" Nick and Greg shouted simultaneously, as all three men stopped what they were doing to stare disbelievingly.

"He's back?" Warrick asked in shock. "He's been gone for two weeks without a word, and now he's just suddenly shown up?"

Catherine hesitated. "Well," she said slowly, "not _completely_ without a word..."

All heads turned her way.

"You spoke to him?" Sofia asked. "...And you didn't say anything!"

"He told me not to!" Catherineyelled in her effort to defend herself. "It was about a week ago. He said that he was fine, but he was going out of town and didn't know when he'd be back..."

"Oh, I've gotta figure this one out. Come on, guys." Warrick closed his locker and headed or the conference room, the rest in tow, with Catherine bringing up the rear.

----- ----- -----

"Good, you're all here. Before I pass out tonight's assignments, I'd like to thank Catherine and Sofia for taking over shifts while I was gone. Now, by the looks of things-"

"Wait," Nick interrupted. "You're not even going to tell us where you were for the last two weeks?"

Grissom shrugged. "No. Now, as I was saying, by the looks of things, we're still short-staffed, so I'm afraid we're going to have to continue pulling double shifts until all our empty postitions are filled."

"Ahh, man!" Greg sighed. "I don't know how much longer I can hold out. We've been pulling doubles for over a month, ever since Sara left, and-"

Grissom held up a hand. "I never said that I was finished. On that note, I've brought in some backup to help carry the load." Heads turned and interests peaked at his words. "She's a good friend of mine, and I think you'll approve. I have to warn you, though, she's been stationed in Quantico for some time, and-"

"Wait," Catherine stopped him, he hand cunconsciously moving to her neck. "You brought in a _Fed_?"

"That's the last thing we need around here," Nick agreed. "They practically took over the lab for the past two weeks."

"She didn't have anything to do with that, I promise. In fact, you'll have to fill us in on that later. I'm sure she'll be interested to know what's been going on lately." As confused looks were passed around the table, Grissom glanced behind them to see Sara in the doorway, silently smiling and awaiting her cue. Looking back to the others, he said, "Guys, I'd like you to meet my good friend, Agent Sidle."

At the sound of the name, all heads snapped to the door. Within seconds, everyone but Sofia was out of their chairs and crowded around her, all trying to get the first hugs. Smiling, Grissom watched the celebration from his place at the head of the table as they all began bombarding her with questions.

"Oh, my God," Warrick cried. "Is it really you?"

"You're a _Fed_!" Catherine asked incredulously.

"We missed you so much, Sara!" Greg's voice came from behind her.

Finally, Nick broke through, asking, "What's up? Why'd you leave?"

With that question, the room grew quiet once more as they waited for her response.

Sara sighed, glancing at Grissom and then looking at each of them in turn. "I'm sorry, guys. Why I left was... a personal issue, but it was something that had been botherine me for a long time, and I couldn't stand it anymore. But, that was no excuse for me to leave without saying goodbye. I should've at least warned you, but it all happened so quickly... I'm so sorry." Pulling each of them in, she squeezed her group of friends in a hug.

Watching from the table, Grissom turned to Sofia. "Nothing to say?"

She shrugged. "Nothing else needs to be said."

Soon they were joined at the table by the rest of the crew, talking and laughing as they took their seats. Sara took her regular seat next to Grissom.

"Okay, sorry to break up the party, but assignments are waiting," he started, clearing her throat. "Catherine and Warrick, 419 at the Belagio. A man was found dead at the craps table. O'Riley's there waiting for you. Greg and Sofia, you have the Parisian heist. Looks like the vault's been cleaned out, so don't forget to check survailance."

"Man, Vegas is going for the big bucks tonight," Warrick sighed.

"Not all of Vegas. Nick, you're coming with me and Sara. We got a 419 out in Henderson, suspicious circs."

"Alright!" Nick started to stand. "Let's roll!"

Sara gave one last round of hugs to those working on other cases and promised to hang out after shift, then hurried after Nick and Grissom, jumping in the back of the Tahoe, kit in hand.

----- ----- -----

Arriving at the scene, the three friends climbed out of the SUV to find cops everywhere, and none of them seemed want to go anywhere near the house. Climbing under the yellow tape, they were met at the door by Brass.

"Hey, guys," he started, then took a double take. "_Sara!_ Is that you?"

She nodded and leaned in for a quick hug.

"Hey! Welcome back, kiddo! Good to see you.."

"Brass," Grissom chided. "the case, please."

"Oh, right, sorry. Where were we?"

"The body," Grissom prompted.

"Bodies," Brass corrected.

"There's more than one?" Nick asked with a raised eyebrow.

"There's two. Mailman saw the husband through the mail slot, all bled out on the living room floor. No one knew about the wife till we did searched the rest of the house, standard procedure."

"Why is everyone outside behind the tape?" Sara asked.

Brass smiled. "You know cops... No one could stand the smell." A few chuckles later, he continued. "The wife's in the back bedroom. Last door on the left. Coroner already pronounced."

"Thanks," Grissom said, moving inside and setting his kit on the hall table, snapping on a pair of gloves in the process. Sara and Nick were close behind, following his lead.

"Wow," breathed Nick. "This place is a mess."

"Evidence of a struggle," Sara agreed. "There's shoe prints everywhere."

"Including a pair leading down the ahllway," came Grissom's voice.

"Let's follow them."

"You two go ahead," Nick said. "I got this."

Nodding, Sara and Grissom grabbed their kits and headed for the back bedroom, careful not to disturb the prints, but when they got to the door Sara stopped short. The scene was hauntingly familiar. The wife was tied to the bed with cotton strips, the cord ripped off the bedside lamp and wrapped around her neck. Sara looked down to see that the doorknob had been wiped clean, and looking around the room, a glossy sheen reflected in the window told her that it had wiped down too.

"Lividity's set," Grissom noted. "She died here."

"Petechial hemorrhaging? Defensive wounds on the hands and wrists?" she asked, not having move an inch.

He glanced at her questioningly, then checked. "Yeah, how'd you-?"

"Grissom, don't touch her."

"Sara, this is a case, I have to-"

"I really hate to do this, Grissom, but I outrank you and I'm telling you now to step away from that body."

A hurt and confused look crossed his face momentarily, but he obeyed, moving away from the bed and slowly towards her.

"I can't believe he followed me," she whispered.

"What's going on?" she asked, coming up beside her.

"This is my case... from Virginia. I was working this case."

"How can you be sure?"

"Everything's the same... Body position, ligature marks, defensive wounds, same kind of cloth, and you won't find any prints. He's wiped everything down. All his vics were married-"

"Wait," he stopped her. "We don't know that."

"Dude, you're slackin'." She pointed to the body. "Check out the left hand. Wedding ring."

"Alright, so what about the husband?"

Sara shook her head. "That part's new."

"Damn, he 's evolving... Alright, I'm calling Catherine and Sofia over here. We need all the help we can get."

"NO!" she yelled. "Don't bring them anywhere near this case! All the investigators that have worked it so far have been women, and they've all been drugged, raped, killed, and dumped. We never even found their bodies."

Grissom stood rooted to the spot, afaid of the answer to his next question. "If you never found them, then how do you know that?"

She sighed, then looked up and took a deep breath before answering.

"Because I was one of them."

----- ----- -----


	11. Revelations and Resolutions

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Chapter 11

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Grissom's eyes looked like they were going to bug out of his head.

"_What!_"

Sara looked at the floor. "Grissom, please don't look at me like that."

"_That's_ why you were in the hospital? This guy tried to kill you?"

"See, this is why I didn't tell you. I knew you'd do this..." Her hand moved to her still-bandaged temple. "I'm getting a headache."

"Well, no wonder. He damn near smashed your head in... At least, that's what I think happened. You haven't told me." He turned and swore under his breath.

"I'm fine!" she spat. "We just need to focus on catching him, so he can't do this to anyone else."

"No, Sara, I'd rather focus on what he did to you," he said as he turned back to face her, his voice raising. He pointed to the body. "Did he-"

"He damn well tried!" she yelled back, her voice cracking.

By this time, Nick had made his way to the hallway, amazed at the scene before him. Sara was at her wit's end, leaning against the window at the end of the hall. Grissom stared at her from the doorway, guilt and shock crossing his face. Nick watched as the scene continued to play out.

"Sara..."

"_I fought him!_" she sputtered, the tears breaking free. "I fought like hell to get him off me, but the last thing I remember is him punching me to get me to shut up... I turned my head and tried to block him, but he hit my temple and I blacked out..." She dropped to her knees, the memory proving too much for her to handle alone.

Speech was lost to Grissom as he watched her break down. After all that she had weathered in the past, life had dealt her yet another losing hand and she was collapsing under the weight of such a heavy burden.

"After that, all I remember is being cold, hearing him drive away, and then waking up in the hospital with you telling me that I've been there for a week..." She looked up at him with fear behind her eyes. "Do you know what that did to me? _Do you!_"

He moved closer, tears welling in his own eyes, and tried to comfort her. But she would have none of it, shuddering at his touch and backing away in a quick jerk.

"No, I can't..." She ran down the hall, past Nick and out the back door onto the porch.

Sighing, Grissom blinked back what wetness had gathered and met Nick at the end of the hall. "Call Ecklie and let him know we've got a high profile case on our hands, FBI assistance." He turned to follow Sara.

"Griss..." Nick hesitated. "Ecklie's gone."

He turned back, not believing what he had just heard. "_What!_"

"He's gone," Nick repeated. "He was blackmailing Catherine, holding the promotion over her head, so she went to Brass. They had her wear a mic and plant a camera in his office... What they saw brought the FBI in for close to two weeks, sniffin' around everywhere. They caught him grafting and embezzling lab funds, and they let it go for a while to see if he could lead them to any other sources, but after what he did to Cath..."

"What happened to Catherine?" he asked incredulously, suddenly remembering her nervousness when he'd mentioned the FBI.

"He had her in his office a few days ago, telling her that she'd better find you soon or he'd fire you both. She tried to fight back, calling him a monster... He accused her of insubordination and damn near strangled her. Warrick burst in just as Ecklie tried to leave, two agents on his tail, and punched him square in the nose.While they hauled him out of here, 'Rick went straight to Catherine."

"Is she okay?"

"Yeah. A few bruises, but she's alright."

"Great," he breathed. "Just great... What else could go wrong?"

"They want you to take over."

Grissom's jaw dropped. "Please tell me you're joking."

Nick shrugged. "I wish I was."

"Ugh..." he heaved a sigh in frustration. "I don't have time for this. I have to find Sara."

----- ----- -----

Leaning against the railing, Sara took a deep breath. She had to pull herself together. She'd lived through that hell more than once and she could do it again, but to break down in front of the crew was unacceptable. After her suspension, she'd promised herself that she'd find another way to deal with her past, and she had. She'd left Vegas and started over, only to find that she couldn't escape it. She'd come back home to friends that were more like family,but the horrorhad followed her yet again, snapping at her heels... and now it had come to bite her in the ass. How much more abuse could she take?

Her thoughts were interrupted when the back door opened. Determined to stay strong, she collected herself and set her mind to the case.

Grissom, seeing Sarastruggling to regain composure, tried to be delicate about approaching her. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her even more. Still not quite sure what he was going to say, he closed the door gently and started toward her, but he didn't make it further than a few feet before he heard her voice.

"They call him the Widower," she stated blankly, her back towards him.

Stung by the fact that she would hide her hurt from him after all they'd been through, he moved forward again to stand beside her. Taking her hand, he whispered, "Sara, you don't have to-"

She spun and faced him. "Grissom, after my suspension, I promised myself that I wouldn't go back to that place. If there's anything I can tell you about Rory McNabb, it's this: He takes pride in making his victims relive their worst nightmares... He dragged me back into my childhood, and it nearly killed me. All I ask is that you help me scrape my way back out by catching that son of a bitch."

Giving a small smile for reassurance, he nodded and squeezed her hand.

"So let's go get him."

----- ----- -----

While Sara negotiated details of sharing FBI jurisdiction with theVegas lab, Grissom took Nick into the bedroom to analyze the situation hands off. By the time she was off the phone and back in the room, they were ready to begin the investigation in earnest. Shoe prints were lifted, all surfaces were printed, hairs and fibers put into bindles, and casings collected. Blood stains were swabbed, and both bodies were sent to the morgue. But the most interesting part came after all the evidence was logged in and the autopsies performed, when Sara pulled the case file for Nick and Grissom.

"This is what we're up against," she said, tossing the open file on the break room table. "He's a smart son of a bitch and he'll do anything to keep from getting caught."

Looking at photos of several scenes, Nick frowned. "This all seems so familiar... I thought you said that he killed all of his victims in Virginia."

Sara nodded. "Virginia and Vermont, but he's got homes in New Hampshire, Virginia, Arizona, Louisiana, Colorado, Nebraska, and Vegas. That's how he gets all of his planted evidence. He wants us to chase the lie... As for familiar, this is where he gets his ideas." She pulled out another file and dropped it on the table. When it flipped open to the crime scene photos, Grissom leaned back in his chair and took off his glasses.

"Strip Strangler... That's why they assigned you to the case. McNabb is a copycat."

She nodded again. "And a damn good one. That's why we haven't found much evidence against him. Lucky for us, he's not as smart as he thinks he is. He forgot about the semen stains outside the last two victims' windows, which is how we caught him the first time. He just got to me before I could get to him."

"What about the husband? None of the other spouses were killed," Nick observed.

"That's because he's evolving. This scene is different from the others."

"He left too much behind this time," Grissom said, leaning forward and staring at the photos. "It's almost as if this time were spontaneous... Shooting a victim isn't his style. Using a shotgun against an unarmed man suggests anger."

"Well, of course he's angry," Sara said, finally sitting and glancing over the destruction he'd caused. "His last cover up job didn't go very well, did it?"

Nick's brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

Sara gave a small smile. "I survived."

----- ----- -----


	12. A Fight To the Death

**This chapter has been redone! I realized after I posted it that I had NOT posted the entire chapter! FORGIVE ME! If you have already read this chapter, please reread... I have exported, edited, and replaced this chapter all for you! Sorry for the inconvenience, but I hope that by posting the rest of the chapter some things will be cleared up, and sincerely leave you waiting for more. I hope to have the next chapter up soon. ;-)**

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you so much my reviewers! Constructive criticism or just pure encouragement, they mean a lot!

**committed:** While I know that it seems improbable that Grissom would break down in front of the crew, it is not impossible. We just haven't seen the right circumstances yet, and I believe that this particular circumstance would do the trick. Just the idea of Sara leaving got him to order her a plant, right?

**Fluffy-CSI** and **Tinkerbell:** I'm trying to update as quickly as I can, though this may prove a little more difficult with upcoming college exams. There is also that little tiny detail of finishing the story... I had writer's block for several months over the summer, and updating here has finally helped to put that behind me. I'm working on the ending as fast as I can... REVIEWS HELP! **:-) **Keep me in your thoughts and prayers.

**odeepblue:** While an ending has not yet been written, I really am trying to come up with a happy ending. I always write with the very best of intentions. Many times, however, a story doesn't end the way I thought it would when I started out, as I often get new ideas along the way. A story is a journey, and while the destination may be planned, detours may prove better in the end.

**Transylvanian:** Nick already heard, remember? He heard Sara tell Grissom to back away from the body, and was in the hallway when she broke down. He knows what she's talking about, but you know Nick... Needs a little reminding sometimes. :-)

Thanks again to all my reviewers! It means so much... It's always good to know that your work is being read, and I never dreamed that Federal Involvement would be this popular. Please keep reviewing... With your help, the ending will prove to be just as awesome.

And now... to the story!

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----- ----- -----

Chapter 12

----- ----- -----

That night, Sara slept fitfully, tossing and turning and twisting the covers. Though it was wonderful to be back in her apartment in Vegas, dreams haunted her subconscious, and visions of that horrid night brought her back to a place she dared not go in her waking moments...

She was in her car when he grabbed her... The picture flashed to being in his car. He stared at her from the rear-view mirror... Another flash, and he was in the backseat with her, the car pulled over on a deserted road. It was cold and dark, but she could see his face towering over her as she struggled to free her hands from their bondage. He pinned her down and started to undo her clothing, but she screamed, providing just enough distraction for her to jerk away, ripping her shirt in the process... Yet another flash, and she was fighting to deflect his blows as the brass knuckles cut into her face and chest, despite her screams and cries. A searing pain cut into her wrist, and then all went black as she was hit in the temple... One last picture flashed to reveal him tossing her limp and almost lifeless body from the car and into the snowy ditch. Immediately, she felt the cold and heard the engine roar as he skidded away.

A crack of thunder and the sound of her own whimper woke her. Sitting straight up and gasping for breath, she reached up to ease her throbbing temple, her bad wrist pressed tightly to her chest. In an effort to calm herself, she reached for the glass of water kept on the bedside table. Taking a sip and setting it back in its place, she laid back and tried to relax, which proved difficult as a cold shiver accompanied the terrifying memories of that horrid night. Rolling over, she tried to ignore the intensifying feeling of dread and paranoia, attributing it to the storm raging outside her window, but it seemed to grow stronger with each passing moment. Trusting her instincts, she slowly moved her good hand down the side of the bed, reaching for the spare pistol kept between the mattresses. She was almost there when she heard a small click and a chilling voice utter the command:

"Don't even think it, Agent Sidle."

Frozen in place, she looked up to see the reflection of metal in the darkness as the lightning flashed and the storm raged on, suddenly realizing she had a gun pointed at her. Mustering her courage, she found her voice.

"Put the gun away, Rory. Pulling a gun on an FBI agent is a federal offense."

"Oh," he retorted, "and who's gonna arrest me? _You?_ If I remember corectly, the last time we met, I was the one on top." Chuckling at his own joke, he moved closer, the click of his boots echoing on the hardwood floor.

"News flash, Rory," she said, trying to stall him. "You're not much of a murderer if you leave your victim alive."

He hesitated, but when he spoke again, she could hear a hint of a smile in his voice. "Make no mistake, Ms. Sidle, that won't be the case this time... Stand up," he commanded, sheer arrogance clouding his tone.

Her eyes now adjusted to the dark, she found his face and met his cold stare with one of her own, taking a leaf out of Catherine's book as she began a battle of wits that could've lasted hours had she not been so afraid. Though outwardly she would never let it show, inside she was trembling, and when she heard the cock of the gun, she decided to use that to her advantage. Pulling back the covers, she stood before him, still and silent.

Shocked at first by her obedience, a smile spread slowly spread across his face and he began to laugh. "What happened to your defiance, Agent Sidle?" he cooed mockingly. "Finally realizing that no matter what you hope to accomplish by defying me you're still going to die? You know, that's smart, Sara. Very smart. That's what Grissom would've wanted."

A bright flash of lightning and loud crash of thunder mirrored the anger that burned inside her at his words. Her eyes became slits and she growled through clenched teeth, "Don't you dare bring him into this. He would've wanted me to stand strong and die fighting, you two-faced son of a-"

Before she could finish, she was silenced as he pulled her forward by the chin and shoved his tongue down her throat in a kiss so nauseating and filled with hunger she had to fight to breathe. When he was finished with her, he threw her to the floor and pointed the gun to her head.

"One day you're going to learn that language like that is going to get you in trouble... Say goodbye, Sara."

But before he could pull the trigger, she jumped up, taking him by surprise as she tried to grab the gun. A struggle ensued, and in an attempt to end this cover-up gone awry, he fired, sending a bullet whizzing past Sara's head and shattering the bedroom window. Stunned into silence for a split second, both stood simply staring at the shattered window, watching as the rain poured in and created a puddle on her hardwood floor.

Rory suddenly turned back to Sara, a fire in his eyes. "You _bitch!_" he cried, delivering a backhand that sent her crashing into the nightstand.

Though the fall upset her equilibrium, she managed to aim a kickshot in the groin powerful enough to bring him to her level and let the gun fall to the floor. As he lay crumpled in pain, she kicked the gun out of reach, and taking further advantage of his incapacitation, she reached over and grabbed her cell phone from the spilled contents of her purse. Her fingers flew over the keypad as she dialed the first number that came to mind. He answered almost immediately.

"Grissom," came the quick response.

"Grissom, it's Sara. You have to get over here, it's-"

"I don't think so," Rory sneered as he grabbed her by the hair and yanked her back, sending the phone skidding under the bed. Pinning her down with a knee on her chest, he put pressure on her windpipe, wrapping both hands around her neck. Her hands flew instantly to his, clawing and scratching at his arm from the elbow down, trying anything and everything to loosen his grip, but to no avail. The harder she fought, the tighter he squeezed, an evil smile spreading over his face in the process, knowing that he was slowly killing her. She could hear the loud screaming of her cell phone from under the bed, yelling at her that the call had been disconnected and that Grisom was no longer on the line. Her last attempt at freedom failed, her hope for survival was dwindling almost as quickly as her consciousness when she heard a crash from somewhere in the apartment.

Startled by the sound of shattering glass, Rory's grip losened momentarily as he turned to the doorway, providing just enough time for Sara to punch him in the stomach and squirm out of his hold on her. His knee crashing to the hardwood floor fully brought his attention back to what was happening before him. As he swung at Sara, her weaponless combat training came out full force. This she could deal with, and the only thing that kept her from killing the son of a bitch was the knowledge that his crimes would earn him the death penalty anyway.

A few moments later as he skidded to a halt in the doorway holding his bleeding temple in pain, she rushed to the bed and lifted the mattress to grab her pistol. Kneeling to load it with ammunition from the side drawer, she felt her bad wrist begin to shake.

"Oh, not now," she whispered as another flash of lightning momentarily brightened the room. "Please, not now!"

Finally managing to load the pistol, she turned with weapon raised to see Rory facing her and pointing his own gun, ready to fire.

"Don't look so surprised, Agent Sidle, he laughed wickedly. "You had to know that it would come to this."

"Don't do this, Rory," she breathed. "Think about it, you're smarter than this."

Her words seemed to have the opposite effect of what she was hoping for. She watched as his face twisted in anger and frustration. "Of all the times you've run into me, you choose _now_ for a pep talk!"

"Well, I really wasn't in the position to give one last time, was I?" she retorted. "Come on, think. You've already got 10 breaking and entering charges, 11 for gross lewdness, 8 carjackings, 2 highjackings, grand theft auto, and 7 counts of murder under your belt, and that doesn't even count all the investigators you've dumped along the way, not to mention attempted muder for that little stunt you pulled with me in Virginia. Do you really want to add stalking, resisting arrest, and the murder of a federal agent to your evergrowing criminal record?"

For a moment it almost seemed as though he were listening. Stunned into silence by her words, he stood still, his brows furrowed and his head tilted to the side. But suddenly, he shook himself out of his stupor, his temper flaring and cocked his gun.

"I know what you're trying to do, bitch, and it's not going to work," he yelled. "You're still going to die!"

"Rory, don't!" she cried, her wrist shaking even worse now.

He was about to pull the trigger when a voice from the doorway caught their attention.

"Don't move!"

Startled and obviously threatened by Grissom pointing a gun at him, Rory panicked and fired.

"NO!" Sara shouted, raising her weapon once more and unloading four bullets into the chestof Rory McNabb.

At first he didn't move. He simply stared at her helplessly, and in shock he pressed his free hand to his chest. She looked on in horror as he fell to his knees, his gun dropping to the floor and his stare moving down to his bloody hand. Finally, he looked up and met her wide-eyed stare for a brief moment before falling forward and bleeding out on her hardwood floor.

----- ----- -----

Still kneeling by the bed, Sara dropped her pistol and stared in horror at the scene before her. How had it come to this? That question and a million others clouded her brain like a storm as furious as the one still raging outside... Why hadn't she locked the doors that day in Virginia? Why hadn't she had a team to help her on the case? What made Rory McNabb think that he was any better than Syd Goggle in the first place?

But the question that bothered her the most was, Why hadn't she called for backup? Why bring Grissom into it, only to have him become another victim of a sickenly intelligent serial killer? At this thought, she began to cry. She cried like she'd never cried before, holding her head in her hands as she mouned the loss of the only man she'd ever love, leaving only one question...

What had she done?

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	13. Surprises

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Chapter 13

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Suddenly, a noise from the hallway put her back on her guard. Raising her head, she kept her gaze on the doorway as she reached for her weapon. Movement in the doorway made her pause; anticipation, fear, sadness, confusion, and rage all coursed through her nerve-racked body, but it was the voice that made her heart skip a beat.

"Sara? ..."

She began to shake when she saw him enter the room. He came in sowly, weapon still raised, scanning the room and surveying the scene. When she came into his line of sight, he immediately holstered his weapon and rushed over to her, a tear of relief wetting her hair as he pulled her to his chest.

"Oh, Sara... Thank God you're alright..." Grissompressed her closeas she clung to him, her body still shaking. A second later, he pushed her back in panic and quickly looked her over. "Wait, _are_ you alright?"

At this, the fear in her eyes softened a bit. "I'm okay," she assured him. "A little shaken up, but okay. ... What about you?"

The thunder rolled outside the shattered window as they both glanced down at his left arm, His gray shirt was stained red with blood near his shoulder.

"It's alright, really," he told her when she stared at him in shock and concern. "It just grazed me. I'm okay... Your wall, on the other hand, may need some patching up."

Her look of worry changed to one of relief and a small smile graced her features at his attempt at humor, but he could still sense the tension filling the room.

"Come on," he said, standing and helping her up. "We need to get you out of here."

Reminding her to leave her weapon and everything else exactly as it was, he led her from the room, out of the apartment, and down the hall.

----- ----- -----

"Where are we going?" she asked as they left her apartment.

"Not far," he assured her. "I just want to make sure that you're alright."

"I told you, I'm fine."

Lightning flashed as he turned and sent her a serious stare. "Forgive me Sara, but you have a habit of saying you're fine when you're not."

Before she could respond, they stopped at the door to the apartment directly below Sara's.

"What are we doing _here_?" she asked.

He didn't respond. Instead, the door opened and he led her inside, revealing a bare front room containing only a chair, a table and two laptops. The man who had opened the door now closed and locked it behind them.

"Backup is on the way. They'll want to talk to you."

"Alright," Grissom answered. "Thanks, Carlton." Continuing to walk past him, Grissom led Sara by the hand to another room in the back of the apartment, furnished solely with a couch, a side table, and a lamp. "Sit down," he offered, closing the door.

Sara, who had been silent since they'd entered the apartment, now let loose with a mother load of questions as she paced the small room.

"What's going on here, Grissom? Who was that guy? What are we doing here? What did he mean by backup?"

"Calm down," he urged. Again he motioned for her to sit. When it was clear that she prefered to remain standing, he sighed. "His name is Vince Carlton. He works for the FBI Vegas headquarters, and he's here because I asked him to be."

This earned him an angry and confused stare. "You went over my head? Did you think I couldn't handle the case on my own?"

Holding up a hand, he pleaded, "No, I- please, just listen... When you broke down at the scene a few days ago, I knew there was something extremely wrong. Then you said that you knew the suspect, and after you told me what had happened and we started to work the scene, I began to realize what we were up against. So I called the FBI, thinking that they'd want to protect one of their own. They sent me Carlton."

"That still doesn't explain why he's here," she huffed.

"He's here because I knew that something like this would happen, Sara! McNabb followed you from Virginia when he realized he'd left a witness. That meant that he'd try to find you, and when he did he'd strike in the place you felt most safe. After I explained the situation to Carlton, he set this up. He bugged your apartment and your phones, set up video surveilance on your floor and your front door, and kept in close contact with me..."

She plopped beide him on the couch. When she finally spoke, it was almost as if she were musing to herself. "So... when I called you..."

"... I was here," he nodded. "Carlton had sensed some activity outside your apartment earlier today, and had called me, so after shift I followed you home and came here. Later, we heard him come into your room. You sounded like you had it under control so we just listened, but the storm got worse and interfered with the system..." He paused, running a hand through his already ruffled silver hair. "The lightning knocked out our audio system. When we couldn't hear you anymore, I started preparing for the worst... and then you called, and..."

"And you saved my life," she finished.

All he could do was nod, and for a whilenothing but the sounds of the storm outsideechoed in the little room. Neither dared look at the other as they pondered what could have happened. Suddenly, Grissom's pager went off. He looked at the number, and then at Sara.

"I should call Brass... You need to rest."

He got up to leave, but she reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Ignore it," she said pleadingly. "Stay with me..."

When he saw the fear in her eyes, he stopped, unable to move. It was painful and disconcerting to see her so completely vulnerable. He wondered if she could see him tremble, if she knew what that look did to him, how much control she had over his life. Finally, he moved away from the door and sat beside her once again, a lump rising in his throat.

Before he could think of what to do or say next, she leaned into him, laying her head on his chest, and fell asleep.

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**A/N: please review! i need to know what you think so far... this is as far as i've written at the moment, and i can't post anymore till i figure out in my head exactly how i want it to end. it's hard to know what to do when you're writing blind... i need feedback on this one. ideas are also welcome! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	14. Putting the Backup in Order

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Chapter 14

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Not fifteeen minutes later, the apartment was buzzing with activity. Federal agents and members of LVPD filled the front room, asking questions and trying to bully Carlton into talking. By the time Grissom had managed to leave the back room without waking Sara, Catherine and Nick were already searching him out.

"There you are," Catherine exclaimed. "What's going o-Why are you bleeding?"

"I'll explain everything in a minute," Grissom said quickly. "Just follow me."

Pushing his way through the crowd, he searched for Carlton. He didn't make it very far before he bumped into someone he would've much rather avoided.

"Grissom! So glad you could make it to our litle powwow."

The egocentric grin of Rick Culpepper turned his stomach upside-down. Pasting a smile on his face, Grissom asked as politely as he could, "What are you doing here, Culpepper?"

"Well, I heard that our little star Agent Sidle bagged The Widower. I came to congratulate her... and of course, try to put some order into this little circus of yours."

Grissom grimaced. "Of course you did... Wh-"

"Where is the little spitfire, anyways? You'd think she'd want to enjoy such a triumph with those who supported her..."

Grissom's face reddened and his hands balled into fists. It was all he could do not to respond to that...but then he remembered who he was looking for. "If you'll excuse me," he said quietly before pushing past Culpepper and towards the large crowd surrounding Carlton.

When he found him, he pulled him aside, away fom the others. "What the _hell_ is going on here?"

Carlton shook his head. "I called for backup when you went for Agent Sidle. I didn't know the whole damn department would show up."

Looking around, Grissom sighed. The group was getting louder and more impatient by the minute, and f it got any worse, Sara would be woken. He was going to have to say something.

_Damn it, _he thought. He hated people...

Pulling out a chair from the nearby table and pushing three people out of the way to do so, he stood on it and looked out over the heads of the crowd. Clearing his throat, he vied for their attention. Eventually, heads began to turn and the room began to quiet.

"Thank you," Grissom managed. "As you all most likely know, backup was called to this apartment 30 minutes ago in regards to another attack by the Widower, and-"

He was interrupted as the room erupted with questions.

"Where is he?"

"What happened?"

"Why are we here?"

"Did Sidle catch him?"

Grissom held up a hand to quiet them. "If you'll hold your questions, I'll explain the situation." Silence once again returned, the air thick with curiosity and tension. "You're here because the attack happened in the apartment upstairs. You've all been informed of Agent Sidle's progress with the case, as well as the many struggles, and I'm sure that you're all eager to help, but right now what I need is not for you to go upstairs and trample on the scene. I need my CSIs to be able to go up and process undisturbed."

Culpepper struggled his way to the front. "What do you mean, _your _CSIs? This is a Federal case! I'm in charge here!"

"No, you're not, Culpepper," Grissom challenged, a look of satisfaction crossing his face. "Agent Sidle is. This is _her_ case, and she is sharing juisdiction with the Las Vegas lab, which means _my_ CSIs process the scene."

Culpepper's face burned with anger. "But Sidle caught him! Why does the scene need to be processed at all?"

A voice rose from behind the crowd. "Because he's dead."

The crowd began to part, and Grissom watched as Sara made her way toward him.

Culpepper stared at her in confusion. "What do you mean, he's dead?"

"I killed him," she stated flatly. "After he threw me into my nightstand, it became clear that simple negotiation wasn't going to work, so when he tried to shoot us, I unloaded four bullets into his chest."

At this, Carlton spoke up. "We have most of the encounter on tape, sir."

Culpepper looked from one to other, not sure how he should respond, clearly not used to being out of the loop. Finally, his anger boiled over, and he shouted, "_Why the hell wasn't I involved in this?_"

Catherine smiled from behind Grissom. "I guess they didn't want to bother you while you were so busy on Ecklie's case."

Snickers rose from around the room as Culpepper's face flushed, staring at Catherine and Nick as they headed out the apartment door and up the stairs to process Sara's apartment, leaving Culpepper standing in the middle of the crowded room staring after them. Hethen turned, awestruck,towardGrissom and Sara, who now were level on the floor with him.

Sara spoke up. "You're no longer needed, Culpepper. You and your croonies can leave... Oh, and that's an order."

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* * *

**A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers! This story has been a blast to write, and now that it's almost done, I really feel like I've accomplished something... All of your comments have been a tremendous help and a great encouragement!**

**Kasey: **I couldn't open the link you sent me, but just print them out and I'll get them from you when I see you next... Hope that's soon! You know I love you! You've been such a great help... Thanx for everything! The Sisterhood wouldn't be the same without you!

**Transylvanian:** You have no idea how much it means to have a regular reviewer like you... You're honest, and honest reviews help to make a story great. Thank you for everything.

**Lanta: **I'm glad you found the chapter satisfactory... I must have rewritten it a dozen times to make it perfect! Sara is a strong woman, but even she isn't invincible, and I think that I wanted to make that as clear to her as to my readers.

**Thanks again to everyone. Your comments have been a great help, especially since I haven't finished writing yet! So keep 'em coming! I hope the end turns out as well as the rest! Toodles till next time!**

**-Fayre**


	15. Federal Involvement

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Chapter 15

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The room filled with whispers of excitement while Culpepper stared at Sara in disbelief. "An order that I don't have to follow, _Agent_ Sidle!" His words came out as more of a sneer. "Let's not forget that it was you who came to me. I _gave _you this job, not to mention this case! What and who gave you the authority to give orders to me?"

"I did."

The color in Culpepper's face drained as he turned to see the head of the FBI Vegas Department standing behind him.

"D-D-Director Heinsman! What are you doing here?"

The large man straightened up to his full height. "I came to congratulate Agent Sidle and Dr. Grissom on a job well done. They've managed to accomplish what the entire nation's FBI agents have been trying to do for a year and a half, and by doing so, Sidle has earned herself a bonus, not to mention a promotion."

At this, Culpepper's anger began to rise. "A promotion? If it weren't for my supervision, she wouldn't even be on the case!"

"Your 'supervision' nearly got her killed, Culpepper! This case was high profile, and while she assisted on the original, a new field entry should _never_ have been placed on such a case, especially a new _forensics_ field entry. But as it stands, yes, she gets a promotion... and I believe that places her above you in rank, which means that order had better be taken seriously before I turn it into a pink slip!"

His face changing to a resiliant shade of pink from humiliation, Culpepper turned to glare at them all before heading to the door looking as though he had just been slapped in the face.

As the room began to buzz with excitement, Brass gave an order for all LVPD officers to head back to the station. Following suit, Director Heinsman looked at the other field agents surrounding him. "That goes for the rest of you, too. Clear out!"

It took a full ten minutes to clear the apartment of everyone but the Director himself, Sara, Grissom, Brass, and Carlton. When the room was finally empty, Heinsman turned to Sara and shook her hand. "Congratulations, Agent Sidle. A job well done."

"Thank you, sir, but-"

"You handled the situaion better than most of the agents on my task force would. You've done the nation a great service."

"Thank you, but-"

"Now, this promotion places you within a tight circle of well-trained top-notch agents at Quantico, so I expect you to be ready for duty as soon as you're cleared." He turned to leave.

Sara stepped forward and took a deep breath before answering, "No."

The Director turned back, confusion written on his face. "What do you mean, 'no'?"

"I'm sorry, Director Heinsman, but I'm going to have to decline your offer."

"What?"

"What?" Grissom echoed.

"I can't go back to Quantico. While I was working this case, I had a lot to think about, and I realized that at any time, any one of those bodies on a morgue slab right now could've been me. I came to the FBI looking to escape from what I thought was a ruin of a life, but what I discovered was that everything I need is right here." As she said this, she glanced back at Grissom and smiled. When he returned with a grin of his own, she turned back to Heinsman and continued. "I'm sorry, but I quit. This is where I belong."

----- ----- -----

Leaving the apartment building, Brass and Grissom walked out to the cars in the parking lot while Sara gathered some items from her apartment.

"So, is Sara going to stay with you for a while?" Brass asked, leaning on the door of his Taurus.

Opening the door to his Denali, Grissom nodded. "Yeah, I think so. She just needs a place to relax and get away from life for a bit."

A smile crept its way onto Brass's face. "Since when did you become friendly with the Feds? I didn't think you had it in you."

Grissom grinned back, remembering that conversation from what seemed like so long ago. He played along. "Never make an enemy when you can just as easily make a friend."

Brass snickered. "Or a girlfriend."

Laughing, Grissom sighed as he watched Sara come down the stairs and start to walk toward them. "Yeah, the FBI's okay... I've never kissed better ass."

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THE END

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**--The names in this story given to characters not mentioned in the show are completely fictional. Any resemblance to real people or characters in other stories is purely coincidental.** -- 

**A/N: Thank you so much to all of my reviewers... you made this story possible! I'd never have been able to finish this without you. I hope you enjoyed reading this story as much as I've enjoyed posting it... Between you and me, this story has been in the works for almost a year now, and I never thought I'd finish it, let alone have such a great fan base for it. You make a great audience. I put out a new fic today... "She's All Yours". I hope that you'll read it and give me your thoughts... It's a short little one chapter posting made completely of fluff, but I think it's cute, and it' resolves some issues for me, so enjoy! I'll start a new mini-novel soon! You have my word! Thanks again for everything... it's meant more than you know!**

**-Fayre**


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